The last few days have been extremely troublesome. As I focus on the positive, being present in the now, limiting my view of the future to intentional visualizations, and seeing the past with only gratitude, my mind has fought me. It wants to be angry. It wants to hold ill will against my ex-wife. It wants to worry about the possibility of negativity in the future. It wants to consider the present as a lonely and sorrowful place. I see now how deeply our thought processes become habitualized and how hard the mind fights to keep what has worked, or at least to its best understanding, what has worked.
Yet tonight, something let go, and I was left feeling solid and powerful. I felt centered and at peace, and I so rarely have felt these things over the last few years. At this point, I feel deeply sleepy, and I’m hopeful my insomnia, which has plagued me for so long, might follow with my anger and fear and leave me tonight.
I do want to say that I received some excellent advice from Michael tonight. Thank you for that. Do what it takes and don’t let anything get in your way. (A summary of course). Truer words have never been spoken.
Right now I feel more tired than I’ve felt in a long time, and it is wonderful… I hope you all rest well and dream of fields in sunshine. I for one am done for today.
I feel a sense of victory…