Day 4... Success... almost

Day 4… Success… almost…

Every time I’ve taken on the challenge of applying the things I’ve learned about why people have fulfilling successful lives, over the course of several days, a peregrine feeling comes on, at first subtly, but grows every day I stay the course. It’s a sense of peace and well-being. It feels like bedrock, as though I’ve dug down to a foundation that I could build something real on. This is as opposed to the structures in my life I’ve built on the unstable soils of anxiety, self-doubt, insecurity, etc.

What troubles me the most are my insecurities, which cause me to act out in ways to build myself up. If I’m building myself up because I feel insecure, people feel at a loss in my presence. I cannot focus on them and myself at the same time. Living from insecurity causes us to take from others, rather than give. We feel weak and small so we seek to expand, pulling energy out rather than giving. Yet, if we simply focus on others, build them up, the glow that creates in them feeds back into us, and it causes us to expand in a way that is foolproof. When we give we get, but when we take, we gradually exhaust people until we find ourselves alone.

One thing that is certain, as I focus on the keys to success, my security doesn’t go up, which seems to me to be the path of arrogance, it goes down, deep down, into a place where I feel stable and solid. I feel no need to justify my actions or seek praise, I just get to be, do what I want, and then, from that place of strength and sureness, give of myself to others. It’s the difference between telling someone all the impressive things I’ve done in my life, and shirking the chance to discuss those because all I want is to understand who they are. Any moment talking about their life and their needs as opposed to talking about my own becomes golden. One thing is assured, if you meet someone who speaks about themselves, their money, their women, their successes, their strengths, you are dealing with someone who is not coming from a bedrocked place. They feel adrift, and lost. They are anchoring into themselves… yet, there is no solidity in anchoring to a drifting soul.

Even though I haven’t been reaching my goals 100% (I’d say I’ve been hitting about 40%), I’m already feeling the sensation of being anchored to something right and true. Yet, I must keep going. In the past, as I’ve become stabilized, I have stopped the things that brought me strength. It almost seems as though, like a smoker who declares a day too stressful to live without cigarettes, I sidestep that which anchors me, and go back to drifting, addicted to drama perhaps?

I have many thoughts on that…

Until then, I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow…

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